Has it really been 2 months?

You know that feeling when you want to write, and you know you should write, but you have no idea what to write? Well, that is where we are right now… We were in the hospital again. May 7th – 19th. Nothing spectacular. We went before we did anything to hurt ourselves. We went toContinue reading “Has it really been 2 months?”

Bad few days, or…

I feel like I’m crashing again… I don’t want to be crashing again… I want it to be just a few bad days. I want it to just be my shot of Abilify wearing off early, since it was the first one. I want to miraculously feel better after I get the next shot onContinue reading “Bad few days, or…”

Rough Day…

Today has been rough… just an all around hard day. I’ve had several flashbacks that kind of threw me for a loop and brought up the traumatic loss that I’ve been dealing with the most lately… and that led to the two recent suicide attempts. The memories of this loss are what really brought meContinue reading “Rough Day…”

Typing without really thinking… hope it makes sense.

This is weird. I’m not used to this. It’s foreign. There’s really nothing wrong… Every now and then, like once or twice a day, I’ll still have a flashback or body memory that will make me cry for a minute. But that is it. My mood isn’t horrible. The demons are there, but not awful.Continue reading “Typing without really thinking… hope it makes sense.”

Recent Events…

I ended up in the psychiatric hospital again, on the 12th of December. I want to post about it, but I don’t want to start crying… mostly because I’m in public right now… I knew if I tried to write this blog at home, it would never get done. I’ve been trying to write itContinue reading “Recent Events…”

I don’t even know where to start…

I haven’t posted in a really long time, and I apologize. There is a reason, and I’m going to do my best to fill you in. I hope I can get the whole thing out. My stalker had come back. Mostly, he just followed me, but he did approach me once while I was sittingContinue reading “I don’t even know where to start…”

Please let this not be real…

I don’t want this to be real. I can’t really go into detail. Except that I took a Thorazine, and now I am waiting to see if it is real or not. The Thorazine always works, if it is psychosis, paranoia or hallucinations, so I have no doubt that if that is the case thisContinue reading “Please let this not be real…”

Well, it’s the middle of the night…

… and I’ll give you three guesses. Number One – I can’t sleep. Well done! Number Two – I want to self-harm. You’re two for two… Number Three – I’m sitting on my front porch, writing again. Got ’em all!!! I’m not sure if writing is really going to prevent me from hurting myself, butContinue reading “Well, it’s the middle of the night…”