Has it really been 2 months?

You know that feeling when you want to write, and you know you should write, but you have no idea what to write? Well, that is where we are right now… We were in the hospital again. May 7th – 19th. Nothing spectacular. We went before we did anything to hurt ourselves. We went toContinue reading “Has it really been 2 months?”

How’s it?

Well, I don’t really know at the moment… can that be my answer? I’m still suicidal, self harm helps with this, but I’m trying to not do that, I got close tonight but managed to abstain; I’m still psychotic, just not as bad; I’m still having flashbacks and body memories galore, every day, at leastContinue reading “How’s it?”

Bad few days, or…

I feel like I’m crashing again… I don’t want to be crashing again… I want it to be just a few bad days. I want it to just be my shot of Abilify wearing off early, since it was the first one. I want to miraculously feel better after I get the next shot onContinue reading “Bad few days, or…”

Typing without really thinking… hope it makes sense.

This is weird. I’m not used to this. It’s foreign. There’s really nothing wrong… Every now and then, like once or twice a day, I’ll still have a flashback or body memory that will make me cry for a minute. But that is it. My mood isn’t horrible. The demons are there, but not awful.Continue reading “Typing without really thinking… hope it makes sense.”

Recent Events…

I ended up in the psychiatric hospital again, on the 12th of December. I want to post about it, but I don’t want to start crying… mostly because I’m in public right now… I knew if I tried to write this blog at home, it would never get done. I’ve been trying to write itContinue reading “Recent Events…”

I don’t even know where to start…

I haven’t posted in a really long time, and I apologize. There is a reason, and I’m going to do my best to fill you in. I hope I can get the whole thing out. My stalker had come back. Mostly, he just followed me, but he did approach me once while I was sittingContinue reading “I don’t even know where to start…”

Please let this not be real…

I don’t want this to be real. I can’t really go into detail. Except that I took a Thorazine, and now I am waiting to see if it is real or not. The Thorazine always works, if it is psychosis, paranoia or hallucinations, so I have no doubt that if that is the case thisContinue reading “Please let this not be real…”

Well, it’s the middle of the night…

… and I’ll give you three guesses. Number One – I can’t sleep. Well done! Number Two – I want to self-harm. You’re two for two… Number Three – I’m sitting on my front porch, writing again. Got ’em all!!! I’m not sure if writing is really going to prevent me from hurting myself, butContinue reading “Well, it’s the middle of the night…”

Loud Inside my Head

Found Here It is really loud to me right now. The demons are coming at me full force. Probably from lack of sleep. I didn’t sleep last night at all and only got a 5-hour nap in during the day. They tend to get louder when I’m really tired or really stressed. What’s the mostContinue reading “Loud Inside my Head”