Well…

We were still in Trauma IOP up until today. We started back in the partial hospitalization program today. We’ve been having more and more suicidal thoughts, and getting closer to acting on them. The therapist from the IOP asked, on more than one occasion, if we needed a higher level of care. We refused toContinue reading “Well…”

How’s it?

Well, I don’t really know at the moment… can that be my answer? I’m still suicidal, self harm helps with this, but I’m trying to not do that, I got close tonight but managed to abstain; I’m still psychotic, just not as bad; I’m still having flashbacks and body memories galore, every day, at leastContinue reading “How’s it?”

Rough Day…

Today has been rough… just an all around hard day. I’ve had several flashbacks that kind of threw me for a loop and brought up the traumatic loss that I’ve been dealing with the most lately… and that led to the two recent suicide attempts. The memories of this loss are what really brought meContinue reading “Rough Day…”

Typing without really thinking… hope it makes sense.

This is weird. I’m not used to this. It’s foreign. There’s really nothing wrong… Every now and then, like once or twice a day, I’ll still have a flashback or body memory that will make me cry for a minute. But that is it. My mood isn’t horrible. The demons are there, but not awful.Continue reading “Typing without really thinking… hope it makes sense.”

Well, it’s the middle of the night…

… and I’ll give you three guesses. Number One – I can’t sleep. Well done! Number Two – I want to self-harm. You’re two for two… Number Three – I’m sitting on my front porch, writing again. Got ’em all!!! I’m not sure if writing is really going to prevent me from hurting myself, butContinue reading “Well, it’s the middle of the night…”

Going Catatonic and Other Recent Events

According to the DSM-5, at┬áleast three out of twelve symptoms must be present for a diagnosis of catatonia. These symptoms include: Stupor (oblivious inability to move or respond to stimuli),┬ácatalepsy (rigid body posture) Mutism (little to no verbal communication) Waxy flexibility (body remains in whatever position it is placed by another) Negativism (lack of verbalContinue reading “Going Catatonic and Other Recent Events”